sky-blue
by Kalon
Summary: Len doesn't understand why he feels so weird around his sister. Or why he finds it difficult to concentrate with her flaunting her midriff. Or why his chest feels tight when he thinks about them being 'siblings'. Or a lot of things, actually. Maybe he just needs to breathe more. So, why exactly did he agree on going to the cinema with her again? RIN/LEN INCEST. ONESHOT.


**sky-blue**

My bedroom door slams open, and Rin storms in.

She drops her bags on the ground—well, actually _throws_ them—and looks at me. "Len, you are the shittiest brother ever."

"Why thank you," I retort bitterly, leaning back in my seat. She's obviously had a bad day. Or she needs to rant. Or something. I don't know. It depends on Rin and I can't read minds.

"I hate my life." She slumps down on my bed. "I hate it." Her eyes are emotionless and both shoulders are sagged, a miserable aura rolling off her. Jesus. Even I'm feeling depressed by just _seeing_ her.

I swing my legs over the chair and sit on it rearward to face her, folding my arms over the backrest. "Why's that?"

Rin shrugs. "My friends suck. Everyone sucks. The only person who probably doesn't suck is _you_. But I never see you anymore because you've gone AWOL and locked yourself in your room. So, then, I guess you actually suck." She falters, chewing her bottom lip, "Why are you always in your room? Am I getting too much? Do you hate me?"

Is there such thing as wanting personal space? Because sometimes, being around Rin a lot does crazy things to my brain.

Like _serious_ crazy stuff—crazy stuff that I will not mention, because it is slightly, _ever so slightly_ illegal.

If you get me, it's rather uncomfortable when your twin sister—who is actually _attractive_—bares her midriff like no tomorrow. I mean, _God_, the other day, she was walking around in just a bra and a skirt. I had to leave the room and go bang my head against a wall several times to knock some sense into me.

I scoff. "No, Rin, I could never hate you." She eyes me with disbelief, frowning, but I try to ignore that, "Anyway, what's wrong with other people?"

She sighs, flopping onto her back. "I just– I just don't feel… _comfortable_ around people, and everyone thinks I'm _weird_—like, no one gets me. _You_ seem to be the only one who understands me." Rin rolls over and looks at me, and I notice that her dress has hitched further up her thigh, exposing a decent amount of skin. I have to quickly avert my gaze to the carpet before _weird_ stuff starts happening… down there. "But you just don't talk to me anymore. I mean, it's like you're avoiding me or something. Are you? I don't understand. We even live in the same house, but it feels as if we live in separate countries sometimes."

Her beau blue eyes search me—almost as if she's reading me like a book or undressing me—which I find _really, really_ distracting, so I just sit there with my mouth hanging open for a few moments. A fly could have gone in there and I wouldn't have even noticed.

"Of course not," I squeak after a while. "I mean, Rin, you're my _sister_. It's kind of difficult to avoid you." She winces. I notice the slip-up and pause, backtracking my words to try and make that sound a little less harsh. "Like, I see you every day. Not that it's a bad _thing_ at all. I like seeing you. It's just… I need space. I need personal space. I'm willing to spend time with you… but spending _too much_ time with someone is a little… overwhelming."

She's nodding slowly. She'll act empathetic at first, and then she'll ask Mum or Dad about it, and then they'll probably ring up and get angry at me for being so shellfish or whatever. I mean, selfish.

(Seriously, _shellfish?_ What on earth is going on with my brain today?)

Rin sits up, pulling her dress down. "Right, right, I get what you mean. I guess it's a little vain of me to invade your bubble. I mean, you're my _brother_. People will probably think it's weird if we spend a lot of time in open together, arm-in-arm." She smiles in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere, but it doesn't look so sincere. It looks rather… _unhappy_.

"I think it would be weird if we just showed public affection. Hanging out together is fine, though. It just means we're close." I elaborate slowly, trying to smile back. Her grin tends to widen slightly in reaction, but it looks just as forced as the previous.

I'm a little nervous as to _why_ she's so upset about this topic we're on. And a little confused as to why my chest is feeling a little tight whenever I think about this sibling policy.

Maybe I need to breathe more.

"Great—I mean, is it okay if we hang out together a bit more?" she asks, fiddling with the hem of her dress. I nod once, a little hesitant as to spending so much time around my sister, who is _pretty_ and a little too divulging for her own good. My sister, who makes me feel rather uncomfortable… and, I got to admit, provoked. "Good. Good. We should like… We should go to the cinema… and watch movies… and stuff. And um, after that, we can go to the arcade if you want—like how we used to when we were kids. That was fun."

I clear my throat awkwardly. "Well, yeah—if you don't feel stroppy being the only nineteen-year-olds in the arcade—it's fine with me." I show a sly smile and she laughs.

"I'll be with you, so it'd be the two of us."

"Yeah,"

Then we both fall into a silence because we can't think of anything else to say. She stands, scuffing her feet at the carpet. "So, um… I'll be in the kitchen making tea if you, uh, need anything…" she starts slowly, "Okay?"

"Yeah," I repeat. "Okay."

She nods, as if to confirm it with herself too, and then sidles meekly out of my bedroom, shutting the door quietly behind her.

I turn back to my laptop with a weary sigh. Great. How the hell am I going to get out of this?

My bedroom door slams open once again, startling me from my trail of thoughts, and Rin runs back in, muttering something about forgetting her bags.

…

I couldn't get out of it. I tried everything.

Okay, so maybe not hard enough, but it's just _difficult_ to disappoint Rin, alright? She's just… _Rin_. And I really can't say no to her. I can't. It's one of my weaknesses.

Somehow I end up two hours prior to our trip to the cinema giving advice on what she should wear. Should I even be giving advice? Like, why would she want _my_—her brother's—opinion? God, I don't know. I don't understand—I'm not up to date with fashion. Usually it's _me_ asking Rin on what to wear on dates and stuff. That reminds me… Rin seems to be pretty serious about this, like it's an actual date.

Oh no no no no, but this is not a date. What on earth am I thinking? Maybe she's going to try impress a guy who works at the cinema. Or girl. I honestly don't know about what interests Rin these days.

Rin's standing in front of me, holding up a saffron dress and a sky-blue dress in front of her. "Do you think the blue would go more with my shoes, though?" she's asking, "I think saffron clashes a bit much, right? And the blue will match your shirt. I mean, not that I want it to match—okay, yes I do—but… _you know…_" Rin looks down at her feet and starts to fidget nervously. "I mean, do you like it? Do you like the blue dress? Or do you like the saffron more?"

Is she _seriously_ asking me these questions? "Either is fine, Rin…" I state unsurely, "Just wear the one you like the best."

Rin groans. "Len, just be straight out honest; which is better—the yellow or blue?"

"Blue," I reply hastily, knowing that if I don't give an answer, she won't leave me alone.

"Oh good," she states, grinning, "I wanted to wear that one."

What– what the _hell…?_

I don't understand females. Seriously.

Two hours later, I am sitting in the lounge room, waiting for Rin to get ready. I got ready within five minutes. It's been at least an hour and a half since she got into the shower. I don't get why she needs to perfect herself just to go to the cinema—I mean, the cinema is dark. You can't even see. Why would you prep yourself up just to sit in the dark for two hours, unseeable?

When I hear the click-clacking of her high-heels on the wooden floorboards, I spring up from the lounge in relief. _Finally!_ I think, _She's done!_ And without much hesitation, I tango into the hallway, to greet…

Holy shit.

I have to rub my eyes a few times to check I'm not hallucinating. Standing before me is _Rin_, but totally _not_ Rin—like, it's a more matured version of her. Her golden hair has been curled slightly, falling around her heart-shaped face. Her figure delicate and cute in the blue dress she's wearing; a matching bow pinning back her fringe in her hair. She looks… like a doll… and I'm kind of confused, because my sister was a human the last time I checked.

"You like it?" she asks with a nervous grin, doing a quick spin around to show me the full-body tour. The dress flies up, revealing a decent amount of her long, smooth, pale legs.

If I had no sense of control, I could have gotten an erection, but I didn't, because I have control (surprisingly). "You look great," I offer, though I feel like saying _fantastic, gorgeous _and _absolutely lovely _instead. But I don't, because she's my sister, and I do not compliment my sister like she is my girlfriend.

I watch her smile falter slightly. "Yeah?" she mumbles weakly, rubbing the back of her neck. "I tried."

She tried what? I shift uncomfortably, before putting a hand on her back and giving it a quick pat. I snatch my hand away straight afterward like she's on fire, because I feel unworthy to touch her bare skin—warm and soft and clear—and oh God, I need to distract myself before my body ends up showing how I _really_ feel about her outfit. "I mean, if I weren't your brother, I would date you." I backtrack awkwardly.

Rin looks up at me, blinking her large, jewel-like eyes. Her soft, pink lips curve up into the usual satisfied grin. "Thanks." Her word comes out mellifluously and it resonances through my whole body, down to my toes. I show a small smile in return, before I turn away hastily, starting off to the front door so she can't do any more of her hypnosis-like moves that are threatening my male dignity. Oh God. I don't think I can survive all of today with Rin.

She struggles to follow me down to the car park, her high heels click-clacking rather loudly the whole way. When she manages to catch up, she grabs my sleeve and splutters, "God, Len, slow down! I'm going to break my ankle if you keep walking so fast."

"Sorry, I didn't realise I was going that fast." I lie, before turning away to unlock the car. I feel guilty for being such an awful brother. Just… why does she have to be such a good sister?

(Insert frustration here.)

"Are you going to drive?" Rin asks, and I nod once. "You sure you don't want me to drive?"

"Yeah," _Stop asking me questions and just let me start the car for God's sake, Rin_, I want to add, but I don't.

"Okay."

We ride in complete silence on the way to the cinema—besides Rin's quiet singing to the songs on the radio.

…

When we pull up into the parking lot, Rin says, "I think my lunch nearly came up just then."

"Are you dissing my driving skills?" I ask, quirking an eyebrow in her direction. "Who got their driver's license first out of the both of us?"

"You," Rin bows her head, mock-sulking.

"And who was born first by two minutes and approximately twenty-seven seconds?" I continue.

"Me," Rin replies, before looking bemused. "Wait, how is that bad?" I just grin at her for five minutes straight, until realisation dawns on her face and she works out my intentions. "That's mean, Len. I'm still smarter than you."

I shake my head. "By one number. And that number is only legitimate for a _year_, Rin—a _year_. I can't help it the science teacher had something against me and my awesomeness and under-marked me all the time."

Rin just scoffs and rolls her eyes, before opening the car door and jumping out. "Well, at least I wasn't the Nigel No Friends whose head got flushed in a toilet on the first day of ninth grade." she points out, sticking her head into the car to smirk at me. "You were such a loser in high school, Len."

I sigh. "Don't forget I happened to be a kind loser, at that. Remember that time when I told you there was tomato sauce on your pants? And it turned out to be your period? You should be lucky I bothered to tell you, instead of laughing all day like a normal, horrible, rude brother would do."

"You were _so_ checking out my ass."

"Actually, I was checking out Miku's. Her skirt was always so short, I used to wait for the wind to blow a little too strong and reveal her underwear."

"You are absolutely disgusting," she comments bluntly, before we fall into a mutual silence as we stride into the air-conditioned lobby of the movies—cinema—movies (Same thing, I don't care). Rin tells me to go buy food while she gets the tickets. "It'll be faster," she says when I try to protest.

"In what way?" I ask, cynical.

"In my way," she mutters, before striding off to get in the line. It's amazing how females can change their personalities so quickly. It's truly amazing. She's picking on me one minute, then getting upset with me the next.

When I return with popcorn—not that I'm actually a big fan of it or anything, just Rin requested it—Rin is talking to this guy and she is smiling and laughing and I suddenly feel really insecure. Yet also very protective of Rin. And I am slightly confused. I consider turning away and hiding behind a pole until he leaves, but Rin spots me and waves and it's a little too late now. So I force my best smile on my face and trudge over reluctantly.

"Len!" Rin exclaims. She practically latches onto my arm and I nearly lose all the popcorn. "Oh, um, Len—this is my friend, uh, Lui—we dated last year."

I'm aware my smile loses its intensity, but I'm not sure why. I hold out a hand to 'Lui'—basically, some red-headed girl– _guy_, I mean, _guy_—and say, "Hey, I'm Len—I'm Rin's—"

"—boyfriend," Rin interrupts with a calm smile, "Len is my boyfriend."

Uh.

What.

I'm too confused and shocked and mortified to say anything, so I just keep smiling and nodding. I think I should just go along with it. I think I should. Although, we evidently both look related to each other, so this Lui-dude wouldn't believe us, right? I don't even know why Rin is doing this.

Ugh. Females.

Lui grins back. "Oh, right. You guys look good together." Uh, duh, we're twins. Twins always look good together. Not intentionally in a romantic way, but they just do. Apparently. Mum said something about it once.

"Thanks," Rin says, smiling really, really widely for some strange reason.

And we stand around in an awkward silence, unable to think of things to say.

Eventually, Lui clears his throat, breaking the discomforting quiet. "Well, see you later Rin," he says, nodding once in her direction, but pauses when he gets to me. There's this _thing_ in his eyes when he looks at me and it's burning with absolute hatred, and then I know why Rin didn't date him for so long. He's an absolute asshole. "And Len," he adds, before stalking off to the bathroom.

When he's gone, Rin lets out this huge sigh of relief and releases her grip on my arm. "Oh my God." she breathes, "Thank you for that, Len. He started asking me if I was free on Saturday, even though I like, declined the last three date offers within a millisecond. I owe you."

"Do you think he really believed us?" I question.

"Nope," Rin replies cheerfully, before dragging me off in the direction of our cinema. I sigh. Then what was the point of that? Now he'll either assume that a) we're liars or b) we're incestuous lovers, which are both not really good labels, either way.

As we're taking a seat in the theatre, I remember that I forgot to ask Rin what tickets she bought. Like, I don't even know if we decided on a movie. When I do ask, Rin shrugs and states, "I chose that one about the two lovers that can never be together no matter how many times they are reincarnated. You know, the one where the guy always saves the girl from death and ends up dying instead? Yeah, that one." When I don't reply after a while, she looks at me and inquires, "Is it okay? The movie, I mean. You wanted to see it, right?"

I clear my throat. "Oh, yeah." Well, I don't really care what movie I see, but seeing _this one_ with _Rin_, of all people… uh… nope. First of all, she'll be crying all over my shoulder, because I've heard this is really sad and she's a sook, and secondly, 'two lovers that can never be together no matter how many times they are reincarnated' 'TWO LOVERS THAT CAN NEVER BE TOGETHER' '**TWO LOVERS**' '_**NEVER BE TOGETHER**_'. You see my point exactly.

Except, I don't know why that bothers me so much.

Maybe I accidentally took the wrong medication this morning.

Oh God, the cinema is going dark. Oh God. I am not afraid of the dark. But I am afraid of being with Rin in the dark. WHAT HAPPENS IF I GO TO GET POPCORN AND I GROPE HER BOOB INSTEAD? Oh God. She'll never let me live it down. Not that there's much to grope, but…

Jesus Christ.

I think I am going to die.

…

Have you ever sat in a dark place next to someone who is almost irresistibly impossible not to touch, with them touching you somewhat intimately? No, I am not talking about sex. This is Rin we're talking about. In a cinema. When it's dark. During a sad scene which even brought tears to my eyes.

Let me tell you: Not only do I feel incredibly, um… awkward, but it is also incredibly hard to keep myself from hyperventilating from confusion as to why I am so turned on right now. Rin is just casually bawling everywhere on my shirt, and I'm just sitting there going, 'Okay, as long as she doesn't move down or touch my leg, everything will be A-OK.' AND THEN SHE TOUCHES MY LEG. WITH HER HAND. AND IT IS A NEAR-DEATH SITUATION.

"Um, Rin…" I hiss, nudging her lightly to try and move her a little bit, and she looks up at me in the dark. Somehow, I can tell her face is inches from mine, because I feel her hot, minty breathe nipping at my cheeks and I can see her features slightly in the dim light. Her large eyes blink at me questioningly and I force myself turn my head away so I don't end up doing something I'll regret later. "Rin, can you, uh, move your hand a little bit?"

"Oh, oh yeah, okay," she whispers back, and then she moves her hand even further up my thigh, and I end up jumping in my chair and squeaking in panic. Rin starts to laugh quietly at my reaction and people look back at us in curiosity and, well, irritation. "Sorry, was that a soft spot?"

I wince, "No. Please just remove your hand entirely. And don't move it upwards."

"Why?"

"Because that is my _crotch_, Rin."

"Oh. Right." And Rin takes her hand away from my leg very awkwardly, and decides to hold my hand with hers instead.

Brothers and sisters do not hold hands during a movie, but at the moment, I'm just glad she didn't grope my crotch instead.

I wonder if she noticed that my hands are actually really sweaty. And I wonder if she's thinking about letting go of mine because of that, but she doesn't want to because she thinks she'll hurt my feelings. And then I wonder if she doesn't mind them being sweaty. And after that, I wonder why I am thinking these things, while I am trying to watch a movie.

After a while, I realise she's smoothing her thumb over the top of my hand gently, just like something my mum would do when I'm upset. Her hand is really small and fragile, and I feel that if I were to squeeze it, it would shatter in my palm. For the next whole ten minutes, I am staring at Rin's hand rubbing my hand in the dark in amusement and incredulity. The soft skin on her hands is illuminated by the light cast by the movie screening. My heart is beating really fast. It's so soft, so quaint, so pale…

"Len," Rin breathes into my ear, sending a ripple of goose bumps down my body and I nearly have a heart-attack. God, I got distracted by Rin's hand. I hope she didn't notice. "Len, are you okay?" she asks gently, squeezing my hand with hers. "Are you feeling alright? We can go home if you're not feeling well."

I squeeze her hand back and look down at her to smile uneasily. "Yeah, I'm okay. I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

"Did you really want to see this movie?" Rin asks after a few moments of silence.

I sigh. "It's alright." I murmur, but I don't even know if that can classify as a legitimate answer.

"I'm sorry," she says, lifting her head off my chest to fully face me, "I'm being really clingy, aren't I? I'm in your space. It's kind of weird for me to be all over you like this."

Because we're having a bit of a conversation in the middle of a cinema, people are shushing and turning to glare at us. I can feel my face slowly turning red from embarrassment. Thank God it's dark. Rin notices this too, but she doesn't seem to care. "Can we not talk about this now, Rin?" I inquire warily, "We're in the middle of a movie."

"No," she persists, her voice cracking, "is it bothering you, Len? I'm– I… I just—"

I'm aware the lady sitting in front of us is about to explode because Rin is starting to blubber pretty loudly, and I'm panicking because Rin is blubbering over _me_, so I turn to Rin and grab her face in my hands to try and silence her, or just stun her or something, considering I don't like, ever touch her face. And it works. And we're kind of just sitting there in the middle of the cinema—her head in my hands, my eyes looking directly into hers—in complete silence. I can hear her breathing, steady and mild, and I can hear my heart beating loudly in my ears. It's then when I realise what I just did is a very, very wrong move.

Everything starts to go slow, like Rin's eyes are hypnotising me and pulling me into a trance, and I can no longer remember our surroundings—I can't hear the movie in the background playing, I forget that Rin is my twin sister—all I can think is how much I want to kiss her and how beautiful she really is. Soon, her hands are reaching up to my face and she's leaning in—she's leaning in _very close_—to my face, her breathe tickling my lips. Her fingertips brush up against my jawline lightly, following up into my hair, as she closes her eyes and tilts her head slightly.

All in one instant, Rin's mouth is against mine and we are kissing in the middle of a movie theatre, and we are both siblings, and I don't know what the heck is happening, because this is very, very illegal. What happens if someone who knows us turns around and sees me and Rin smacking lips? God, what happens if they tell our parents? What happens if I get arrested? Oh God, oh God, oh God.

I break the kiss off immediately and look away, an emotional battle going on inside my head. I want to keep kissing her, but we can't kiss because it's illegal and I refuse to take advantage of my sister. I don't know what Rin is doing, because she's a very unreadable person, and God knows what she is thinking about us kissing in the middle of the cinema. I feel sick in my stomach—my hands clammy and my mouth tingly from her lips on mine. I shouldn't have these feelings for Rin. I shouldn't. I don't want to touch her, I don't want to kiss her and I don't want to ruin the relationship we already have. I love Rin as a sister, not as something more. I swear.

Maybe we're just both confused. We just were curious to see what it was like to kiss each other. We've been close for such a long time, I guess it's bound to happen, with us wanting to explore each other a little bit, right?

Yeah, that's what it is. Hopefully.

We sit in complete silence for the rest of the movie, until it finishes and we walk out of the theatre. When we reach the car, Rin turns to me, places a hand on my arm and says, "I'm hungry. Let's go to a restaurant or something."

I look at my watch. It's only five thirty. Rin usually doesn't eat until seven.

"I thought we were going to the arcade." I state, frowning.

"Maybe tomorrow," Rin murmurs, "I'm kind of tired."

I sigh, thinking how typical of Rin this is. "Um, what restaurant do you want to go to?" I ask, as I slide into the front seat and Rin jumps into the passenger's seat beside me. I start the exhaust, the car whirring to life. Part of me is still curious about knowing what Rin is thinking. She hasn't yet mentioned anything about what happened in the movie theatre earlier. Is she just choosing to ignore it? Or is she too scared to talk about it? I honestly don't know what the kiss had meant. I don't. But I'm afraid to know, also.

"I don't know," Rin says. "Somewhere nice. Somewhere we've never been to before."

While I'm waiting to indicate onto the roundabout, I look at her and mutter, "That _really_ narrows it down, Rin. What do you actually feel like—Italian, steak, seafood, Chinese…?" Her lips twitch, and she reaches up to twist a strand of gold hair around a finger. My eyes fall on her pink lips and I'm instantly reminded of that sensation of hers against mine, and I have to look away hastily, feeling myself turn pink.

"Your risotto," she responds after a while.

"That isn't a restaurant."

"It is now," And she looks at me to smile really smugly. "I've changed my mind. Let's go home and eat your risotto. That mushroom one. With the bacon. Bacon is nice."

I shake my head. "Rin, seriously? Make up your mind, woman."

"Risotto," Rin says, giving me a stern look.

"Okay, okay," I admit defeat, before indicating onto the main road that takes us back to our apartment—home. "But that's two things you owe me now. Along with another whole list of oblivion."

Rin claps her hands childishly. "Yay for awesome brothers who can cook!" she exclaims.

I roll my eyes. Tonight is going to be a long night.

Very long it will be indeed.

…

As I'm spooning the risotto onto Rin and my plate—still in my outing clothes, because Rin said, "I'm hungry, change later."—that dear sister of mine who wants to make things extremely difficult for me skips past, with her hands full of candles.

"Rin, what on earth are you doing?" I ask warily and she shrugs and says, "Nothing. Nothing at all."

I raise one eyebrow. "Then why do you have candles?"

She puts a finger to her lips and shushes me. "It's a secret, Lenny-boy." And then she disappears into the dining room, to probably do something she shouldn't be doing. I only frown and continue spooning the risotto. At least she isn't trying to grope me. Or kiss me. Or anything like that.

Oh my God.

Rin swoops back into the dining room, grabbing one plate from my hands. "Gosh, I am so hungry, I could eat a planet." she tells me, before nearly sticking her face into the plate of food to inhale and go, "Mmmmm this is so goooood."

"Please don't eat this one." I state dully, and she looks at me over her shoulder, grinning giddily.

"Or a human." she adds, wiggling her eyebrows somewhat suggestively. I have a thought; a very sick though that makes me nearly drop my plate, and it is so disgusting that I refuse to think of again in Rin's presence. I hope she wasn't implying that thought. But… Rin would never imply that thought. She's not like me… hopefully.

"Eat the neighbour who parties until three in the morning and smokes cannabis all the time, then."

Rin screws up her face. "No thank you."

It takes me a few moments to notice, after I walk into the dining room, that it is not very light—not that the dining room lights are actually that bright, they're pretty shit, to be honest—but this is not due to the lights, it's because the room is lit by candles; dozens of them. I look at Rin accusingly and she smiles back to me sheepishly, like she was waiting for me to respond to the 'candle-lit room'.

"I thought of doing something like a restaurant," she explains. "Is it okay?"

I bite my lip, because I was actually thinking 'candle-lit' environments were pretty… romantic, and I don't really see how candles can represent a restaurant-like atmosphere. "As long as nothing catches on fire, I'm fine." I state, sitting at our rickety table, directly across from Rin.

"All we need is wine to complete the atmosphere." she continues, "Or just some form of alcohol in wine glasses."

"I have cooking wine," I offer and Rin snorts. "But no, we do not. If you feel the need to get drunk, you can go spin around on the desk chair." I nod over at the chair in front of the computer desk to my right.

Rin kicks my leg under the table, and I kick her lightly back. "You are no fun, Len," she whines.

"I do not see the point in losing brain cells just to feel good. I can feel good without poisoning myself, thank you."

She kicks it again. "But I want to see you drunk."

I shudder at the thought of being drunk—when I was sixteen, I went to this big party and got very plastered—and the only memories I have of that 'fun night' was puking into Rin's lap on the drive home when our parents had to come pick us—well, me, because Rin was still sober—up and her telling me a story about how I was humping a lamp an hour earlier. I gather that I become very horny when I am intoxicated, thus I will never, ever, ever drink alcohol again. Especially in Rin's presence. "No." I finally mutter. I don't understand why Rin would want me to get drunk again, because she didn't really like the idea of me chucking digested McDonald's onto her 'nice, new dress' (which was some short thing that did absolutely nothing for her; and I'm glad she never wore it again, because it's quite easy to rape her in it. Not that I ever have tried to rape Rin in that dress—it's just… short, and it's not difficult to gain access to her underwear).

"Well, we don't really have alcohol anyway…" Rin sighs, "Maybe another night,"

"Maybe a never night," I reply bluntly. Anyway, I don't think I've seen Rin ever drunk. And I don't think I want to, either.

She kicks me for the third time. "Then can we do _something_ fun tonight?"

"Uh," I say, "like what? I offered to take you to the arcade, but you said you were tired."

Rin pauses, the fork half-way to her lips. Her eyes search me, before she says, "I mean, fun stuff like adult fun stuff."

I nearly choke on my own fork, because I get another horrific thought and I pray that Rin can't read minds. "Adult fun stuff as in…?"

She stares at me for a few moments, expressionless, like she just spelled out the most obvious thing in the whole universe when she actually expected me to understand what the fourth dimension looks like. She licks her lips and says, "Never mind."

"No, I was being serious, _what_ adult stuff?" I press, frowning.

"Don't worry about it," she squeaks. And then she bows down her head to look down at her risotto, and it falls very, very silent. It takes me several moments to realise that she's crying, allowing little sobs escaping her lips, the top half of her body trembling. Oh my God. Why? Why is she crying? What did I do _this _time?

I put down my fork. "Rin," I say, "Rin, what's the matter? Are you crying? Don't tell me you're crying—oh God, the second time today, Rin—what are you crying for?" She doesn't lift her head or anything, but just starts to cry even harder. I stand up and walk to her side, before crouching down and touching her arm gently. She starts to shake her head.

"It's nothing, I'm just being stupid," she tells me weakly. "Don't worry about it."

And then she breaks down again.

Oh, for the love of fish crackers. Is she pregnant or something and suffering some sort of hormonal-emotional side-effect? God, if she's pregnant, I'm going to personally rip out the intestines of whoever impregnated her and feed them to a pig. Rin is nineteen. She isn't even engaged yet—or THINKING about engagement, hopefully.

I put an arm around her shoulder, pulling her into my chest. "Look, Rin, what's wrong?" I ask gently, "You know you can tell me anything—I'm your brother."

Rin pushes me away, snapping her head up to look at me. "Stop saying that! You always go, 'brother' this and 'brother' that! For God's sake, Len, why do you keep saying these things?" she yells, "I love you! I love you, and I hate it when you remind me that I _can't!_"

Whoa, okay, that was a bit sudden—I mean, _what?_

I have to steady myself by placing a hand on the table, a little surprised by her outburst. Rin doesn't usually yell. Well, Rin doesn't usually do anything. She's pretty easy-going, most of the time. I stare at Rin for a few moments, whose turned cherry red, up to her hair line. I'm confused. She said she loved me—and well, that can have several meanings—and by the way she's reacting, it means she…

She loves… _me?_

"Shit," Rin starts to cry again, putting her head in her hands, "oh shit oh shit oh shit what have I done oh shit oh shit I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry oh shit…" She curls up on her chair into a ball, rocking back and forth and repeating the same nonsense over and over again.

I start to realise she's having an anxiety attack. In the dining room. In the middle of dinner. And she loves me. And she loves me. Oh my God. Rin is in love with me. I love her. Oh God. I am going to hell.

I wrap my arms around Rin tightly, pulling her into my chest, tucking her head underneath my chin. My fingers close around her small, trembling hands and pull them away from her face gently, intertwining hers with mine. "Rin, Rin, it's okay, it's okay, Rin it's okay I love you, I love you, Rin, take deep breaths Rin take deep breaths…" I whisper, kissing her forehead multiple times. She stops trembling, relaxing into my embrace.

"I'm sorry, Len, I'm so so so so so sorry," she whimpers, her lips brushing up against my neck, her hitched breaths tickling my skin. She feels so warm, soft and fragile, I don't want to let go, I just want to sit here with her, I just want to forget that we're related, I just want to enjoy her company. I love her sweet scent, I love her honey-like voice, I love her cute laugh, I love her eccentric personality, I love everything about Rin, I **love** Rin; and I love her more than anything. I don't care if we're twins, maybe it's meant to be that way; we are just connected through the stars like a constellation, we have something much more than just _love_, and I'm just glad to have someone so wonderful and loveable like her with me. I love Rin, I love her very much and I don't care what other people think or say… It's fate. It's fate and we can't change it, no matter what.

I pull away so I can see her face. Her eyes blink at me in curiosity, large and the shade of the sky on a crisp, sunny day, and I can't help but smile at her. "I love you, Rin." I say breathily, brushing back a strand of hair.

Her lips twitch—a small smile forming on her face. "I love you too,"

"I'm sorry for being so… _me_." I state, watching my thumb go around and around her palm, as I try to make her relax. "I didn't realise; I was honestly just terrified about how I was feeling—I am still terrified, because this is just…" I close my eyes and sigh, trying to calm myself.

Rin rests her head on my chest. "It's wrong," she whispers, "I know how you feel, too, Len. And I don't want to feel 'wrong' doing this. I just want to be happy." She grips my shirt gently, but tightly, as if she's afraid I'll let go and leave her all alone. But I won't. I love Rin. I love Rin I love Rin I love Rin. "Yet I can't help but think about the future—we can't have children or get married, or even _show_ our relationship in public because it's so frowned upon… and I just can't…" She whimpers.

"Shh…" I stroke her hair, "I know, I know, I know, I understand everything, it's okay, Rin, it's okay. When we graduate from university, we can save up and move far, far away from this place, and change our names and adopt children, and maybe somehow get married or something…" Rin nods against my chest, her warm temperature seeping through my blouse. "And we can live in a big, white house surrounded by marigolds and sunflowers and vice versa. We'll own a successful business together. We can just forget our past, forget everything, Rin."

Her eyes sweep up to me and I look down into them; the gaze that she often tricked me with during my childhood to get the way she wanted. Her thin fingers reach up to brush against my cheek, gently, and it sends goose bumps over the whole of my body. She smiles at me. "Len, I love you."

"I love you too." I murmur.

And we kind of just—well, I kind of just—inch towards each other's faces slowly, like we're being pulled together by two magnets in our mouths. Just as our lips are about to connect, Rin pulls back and asks, "Can I finish dinner first before things get saucy like spaghetti bolognaise?"

I clear my throat awkwardly, unwrapping Rin from my arms and standing up. "Of course,"

And then I sit down, and we eat dinner in a tension-filled silence.

* * *

**Author note **yes, that's the ending. And no "exception sequels" with some RinxLen lemonade or whatever, because I can't write saucy stuff like spaghetti bolognaise, and if I wanted to write lemonade in this story, I would have, but I didn't, so, no. I started writing this actually last year—November-ish, December-ish, but then forgot about it—and I happened to get some inspiration randomly now. It's probably inconsistent; I think my writing/grammar/punctuation was like 'oh this is good oh no it's turning bad OH MY GOD IS THIS EVEN CLASSIFIED AS FLUENT ENGLISH oh shit'. Well, it's better than some users' English on this website. I'm being very serious, because some things are barely readable/just about as drab as a white wall.

(I won't rant about it here, because once I get started, it'll never end and that's just unacceptable in author notes.)

Anyway, please write me reviews. I love reviews. (Well, I love attention. I'm an attention-seeker. Got it?) Thanks, guys.


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